63.2 F
Westborough, US
Monday, September 16, 2019

If not grace…

I think often of what it means to age gracefully. Of the hundreds of elders I have met, I am most awed by those who make aging well seem so easy. One of my role models is Janice. Janice puts herself together every day. Her outfit is matched and her hair is coiffed. She is the quintessential lady. She doesn't have an unkind word for anyone. She is upbeat and forward-thinking. She is sharp as a tack and attentive and engaging in conversation. This month she turns 105 years old.

Making yourself at home despite the landlord

By Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. I recently had a tenant accept an apartment sight unseen and move across the country to her new place.  I personally...

In Loco Parentis

By Marianne Delorey I’ve been working in elder care for 30 plus years. I write every month about how to prepare for the inevitable. I...

Is discretion truly the better part of valor?

I sat down recently with four card players. It turns out, only one was still driving. There seemed to be a common thread among the others – in all three cases, it seemed like they all had stories where driving had been taken away from them in a seemingly underhanded fashion. One lady recently moved back to Massachusetts from Florida. Her son told her to sell her car and they’d find her one up here. Well, conveniently, finding a new car has not become a priority.

Those who humble themselves will be exalted

A large part of our success in aging well has to do with how we cope with changes in our bodies. All bodies change over time. There are amazing people who are able to continue using the same skills well into older adulthood. There are also some incredible people who develop or hone new skills as they age. For most people, however, we need to be mindful that our changing abilities can affect our self-esteem. Those who pride themselves on their intellect may face an easier time with sore knees than memory loss, and those that were very skilled with their hands might have an easier time with cataracts than arthritis. But none of us are immune to the frustrations of changing bodies. Very often, we have to remind ourselves, if not society in general, of our own worth, even as we lose some of our functioning.

Do good. Then do better.

While in college I worked at a nursing home where I met Mary. Mary had severe dementia and was combative. One day while trying to bring her to the commode, she punched me. Hard. With both fists. In the kidneys. I saw stars. Cathy was another resident who would lash out. Cathy did not honor social envelopes nor did she know when enough was enough. She would interrupt me without thinking and would talk for hours if left unchecked. Sometimes, if she felt she was being ignored, she would get in my face and say some pretty unkind things.

Tips on how to downsize your home

By David J. Dowd Moving to a smaller space can be stressful, emotional and time consuming. It’s no secret we tend to accumulate items over...

Holidays are occasions to check parents’ wellbeing

By Nancy J Coulter The holidays are quickly approaching — a time of year when most of us choose to visit with family and friends....

Going smoke free in senior housing has legal support

By Marianne Delorey© “Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off....

Avoiding the mark  

By Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have...