By Marianne Lyons Delorey, Ph.D.
A problem well stated is a problem half solved.
– John Dewey
I had never heard of John Dewey before sitting down to write this column. It turns out, he was instrumental in changing the American educational system and switching the emphasis from rote memorization to experiential learning. This educational shift turned the focus on the learner and helped develop critical thinking.
John Dewey made a significant mark in education. Now, aging services needs a thinker like him to push that industry forward.
Having just attended a global conference about aging, I can attest that aging services is solving lots of problems. There were seminars on how to lead in a crisis, how to rebrand, how to do more with less, how to grieve through music, and how to redevelop your property. There were some, but very few focusing on person-centered care and otherwise understanding the experience of aging and caregiving.
A while ago I was talking to a resident and trying to convince her to accept some help. I started by saying that she could get somebody to clean her apartment, thinking that this would be so appealing to her. I couldn’t have been more wrong. She countered, “Why would I want somebody to clean for me? That’s the only exercise I get. I need that.” I learned an important lesson that day. We are of limited help to other people if we can’t even define the problem the same way.
While I was at the conference, I looked around the room, and I wondered how many people have truly been hands-on caregivers. Yes, some may work in caregiving organizations. But how many people have changed diapers, spoon-fed people, and held the hands of people as they took their last breath. I believe until you provide hands-on care, it is very difficult to see the world through the eyes of the people who need the care and the people who help the most.
As it stands many hands-on professional caregivers are marginalized because they are female, poorly paid, and often linguistic or racial minorities. They do not have power and families do not listen to their concerns.
While this conference was aimed at people much higher up in caregiving organizations, I do wonder how much more valuable the seminars would be if they were led by the people who actually provide the care. I wonder how we would define the problems and how much closer we would be defining solutions if we were all working together.
I would love to see a conference that focused on experiential learning – for the caregiver, the elder, the caregiving execs, and the families. Let’s face it, we can all use a bit of hands-on learning on how we can best cope with increasing frailty and dependency.
When Dan Rather interviewed Mother Teresa, he asked her how she prayed, and she simply said, “I listen.” He then asked, “Well then, what does God say?” Mother Teresa responded, “He listens.” She then said, “And if you don’t understand that, I can’t explain it to you.”
Our ability as caregiving professionals to listen and then listen again is the only thing that can really set us apart. Doing so will help us understand the real problem and find real solutions.
Marianne Delorey, Ph.D., is the executive director of Colony Retirement Homes. She can be reached at 508-755-0444 or [email protected] and www.colonyretirementhomes.com.
RELATED CONTENT:
