By Janice Lindsay
Contributing Writer
Cranky Consumer Lady was not happy.
Crank Consumer Lady (CCLady) plays the ukulele. This makes her happy. When she plays her ukulele, she plays standing up, and she uses a music stand to hold her music. This does not make her unhappy.
But that music stand!
When she practices with her ukulele group, she needs a collapsable stand that she can easily carry to their meeting place. The collapsable music stand is not supposed to collapse of its own volition.
CCLady invested in a sturdy, collapsable stand. Its bottom rod holds the three feet (“tripod”), the top rod holds the tray, and a middle rod, the “connecting rod,” connects the two together.
For storage and transport, the tray comes off. The top rod collapses into the connecting rod, the connecting rod collapses into the bottom rod, and the bottom rod collapses into the tripod assembly which folds closed. To use it, you un-collapse everything and place the tray on top.
To adjust it all for the correct height, each rod has a metal bolt with a plastic handle. Once the rod is in place, you tighten the bolt. Inside the rod, a teeny tiny nut holds the bolt in place.
Great.
Until one day at practice, CCLady stood by, watching helplessly, as the top rod of her music stand, quietly and without warning, slowly collapsed into the connecting rod. To read the music, she would have had to kneel on the floor, or shrink until she was three feet tall.
At home, CCLady disassembled the whole thing, and experimented. It seemed the metal bolts could wear down the teeny tiny nuts (TTnuts) that held them in place, so the TTnuts could no longer hold.
The manufacturer’s instruction booklet states clearly: “If you need help with your product, please contact us.” So CCLady sent them an email.
She explained the problem, asking for replacement nuts and perhaps a bolt or two just in case.
Answer: “We’re so sorry for the unsatisfied purchase. We don’t have replacement nuts for this product, but we’d like to solve the problem, so need a picture of the problem products to sets a case for you. So, could you kindly send us the picture to help us avoid the same situations and pleases don’t worry we will give you the best solution. Any situations, please contact us firstly, we believe that good communications will solve the problem…Have a nice day!”
CCLady was not having a nice day. She sent two photos of two TTnuts, one that looked worn and one that looked unworn, shown front and back. These nuts are so tiny, CCLady could put one on the fingernail of her little finger, and nail would show all around the nut.
The response to the photos was quick: “…after multiple confirmations, we currently do not have this accessory available for reshipment. Perhaps you can search for alternative accessories in the market.” So much for good communications solving the problem. At least they didn’t tell CCLady to have a nice day; maybe they had guessed that she wouldn’t.
She did not give up. It took a while, but eventually she conjectured: “Maybe they have TTnuts at the hardware store.” She took the offending teeny tiny nut to the hardware store. A helpful but bored gentleman found the right size and she bought a bunch.
Cranky Consumer Lady believes that anyone who designs a product should be required to use it heavily for a year before marketing it, to work out the kinks. She should not have to keep returning to the hardware store for teeny tiny nuts. It makes her cranky.
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